Ever since I laughed my way through my first Charlie Chaplin movie, I've been fascinated by the pioneer days of motion picture-making.  In the early days there was no wide-screen or stereophonic sound -- and the cameras were cranked by hand.  The actors had to rely on facial expressions and body movements, rather than on their vocal cords.  They were masters of their craft too -- 'cause most silent comedies still make me chuckle after all these years!

     Let's turn back our clocks to the roaring 20's and travel down a dusty country road which will someday be called Hollywood Boulevard -- and you can share my "mystery life" as a silent film comedian when comedy was king!

     I'm working for Mack Sennett today -- the most famous director of slapstick comedies around.  We are working at the Keystone Studios in Glendale, California.  If you look around carefully, you can spot Fatty Arbuckle, the Keystone Cops, Mabel Normand and, of course, the great Charlie Chaplin.

     Noisy, isn't it?  There is no need for "Silence on the set" here.  Megaphones are blaring and movies are being made on all six stages at the same time -- side by side!  I've never seen anything like it!

     Mack Sennett gives me an outline of what he wants me to do -- and the cameras begin to roll!  I'm wearing an enormous pair of baggy trousers, a tight jacket and a derby hat!  In this scene, I trip over Mabel Normand's pet dog, fall down, get tangled in the dog's leash and catch my hand in a waste basket!  Through it all, a hotel clerk glares at me -- mumbling under his breath!  I manage to maintain my dignity, brush the dust off my ragged sleeve and tip my derby (while flashing a quick impish smile)!

     During the day's shooting, I am pelted with vegetables from a pushcart, thrown head-first into a vat of cement and smashed in the face with a lemon-meringue pie!  The cameras stop grinding ('cause the sun is going down) and all the film that was taken today will be shown in theatres within five days!  We really work fast!

     I feel good -- knowing that my antics will bring laughter to people all over the country.  It's worth all the bruises.  (Income taxes haven't been invented yet, so my paycheck is all mine!)  Ah, those were the good old days!

     Well, back to the world of television, sound and technology.  I hope you enjoyed sharing my "mystery life" with me!  I've got to run along now and wash this pie out of my ear!